Not My Ship
by Alyce Reide
Summary: A collection of one-shots exploring different couples in Miraculous (mostly romantic, but probably some platonic ones later on). Generally canon-compliant. Requests welcome. ALL PAIRINGS. Latest chapter: amusing Adrienette awkwardness (and apparently an alliteration).
1. Lukhloé

**So I thought I'd start with a pairing I don't always ship, but do think is cute. I will step it up with the difficulty, but I think Lukhloé is a nice easy one to start with. Suggestions welcome!**

**Blanket disclaimer: Miraculous belongs to Zagtoons. All opinions expressed in this fic series belong to the respective characters and are not necessarily shared by me.**

* * *

CHAPTER ONE: LUKHLOÉ

* * *

Chloé loved Adrien. She always had. She always would. He was the only boy for her.

She felt only contempt for this weird blue-haired guitar player, with his earrings and his nail polish. What sort of boy wore nail polish anyway? Was he, like, gay or something?

He wasn't cute. He hadn't made her heart flutter when he'd played in the music festival. Blue hair was ridiculous. His music was ridiculous.

She _didn't_ like him.

* * *

Luka had always been in touch with his emotions. He never denied them, only sometimes concealed them until he was alone. But he always listened to his body, and his music, and he was pretty good at interpreting what they were saying.

And right now, they were saying he had a crush on the beautiful blonde girl from earlier.

He'd thought he liked Marinette. He _had_ liked Marinette. But today, his heart had fluttered at the blonde, and just sat there when he looked at Marinette. Even his heart's melody had changed slightly, notes intertwining with the blonde's song.

No, Luka thought. If his heart's melody had changed, it probably wasn't just a crush. He'd heard how his sister's melody had changed lately, and she was pretty serious with Rose. If his melody had changed, this was serious.

Luka played a few notes on his guitar, his heart singing out in joy.

* * *

She'd do it. She'd prove she didn't like him the one way every Parisian would accept: Andre's.

The last time she'd gotten Andre's, he'd given her mint and peach. Adrien's colors. She'd gotten the same the time before that, and the time before that. Always mint and peach. When she got mint and peach this time, it'd be proof.

Chloé hesitated. Why _not_ invite the guitar player? If he was...confused about her, this would prove him wrong. And on the off chance she _didn't_ get mint and peach, maybe it could…?

She shook her head. It _would_ be a date. She'd make Adrikins jealous, and he'd remember he liked her and not Maribrat. So _there_.

* * *

Luka was there to pick Chloé up from school the next day, just like she'd told him to be. She'd also told him to act like it wasn't their first date, at least in front of her "friends".

He did not disappoint.

"I missed you, my heart's song," Luka murmured, stroking her hair. Chloé smirked over his shoulder, seeing her classmates' jaws drop. Juleka and Maribrat looked especially surprised, giving Chloé a thrill of triumph and _power_.

She took Luka's hand. "Where are we going today, Lukkie?"

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Adrikins looking sweetly baffled, Maribrat's jaw practically on the floor, the Ladyblogger taking pictures, Juleka ga-

"Stop taking pictures!" she snapped. "My and Luka's date is none of your business!"

An "OOOOO" ran through the class. Chloé pointedly ignored them, taking Luka's hand and practically dragging him out of the school.

* * *

Chloé tapped her foot impatiently. Mint and peach, mint and peach. How long did it take Andre to scoop some mint and peach into a cone?

Finally, _finally_, Andre handed her a cone, saying, "Blue berry for his hair, chocolate for his voice. And for you-" he turned to Luka "-lemon for her hair and cotton candy for her stare."

Luka tasted his blue and nearly white ice cream. "Sharp, but sweet, just like you."

Chloé shoved her cone away. "I want my mint and peach."

"But…" Andre said. "This is your heart's flavor."

"I…" Chloé looked at Luka. He wasn't Adrien. Blueberry and chocolate, such a strange combination.

Curiosity, she told herself, was the only reason she took the ice cream from Andre and gave it a tentative lick.

Flavor exploded inside her mouth, the rich silkiness of the chocolate combining perfectly with the fruity, tart blueberry.

She realized Luka was much, much closer than he had been, smiling down at her. He was only a bit taller than her.

"Blueberries and chocolate shouldn't taste good together," she told him.

He chuckled. "Neither should lemon and cotton candy."

* * *

Three days later, they went to the park for a picnic lunch. Chloé still maintained she was only trying to make Adrien jealous. Luka just smiled and played another chord.

* * *

**I wanted to include a kiss, but that seemed like a perfect end. Maybe I'll do more Lukhloé later, if anyone wants.**

**If you'd like to request a pairing, please let me know in the reviews!**

**Next chapter up by next Monday.**


	2. Nathinette

***probes teeth with tongue* Yup, I think there's a cavity there. Sorry guys. Hope your teeth are stronger than mine, because this is FLUFF. Accidental fluff, if you can believe it.**

**I wanted to post this yesterday, but I also don't want to post twice in the same day. I have been working on strengthening my willpower...also schoolwork.**

**Yes, I know the poem wouldn't rhyme in French. I don't care. Sorry.**

**Also, heads up, these one-shots are completely disconnected. I may say something in one that is completely opposite to something in the next. Forgot to mention that in ch1.**

* * *

CHAPTER TWO: NATHINETTE

* * *

Nathaniel had known he had a crush on Marinette ever since her face appeared in one of his doodles. Unfortunately, she still melted all over Adrien, who was drooling over Ladybug.

It was like they had no idea.

Of course Nathaniel knew. How could he not, when his pencil traced the same lines to draw Ladybug's face and Marinette's? When the first time he'd tried to draw Marinette fighting an akuma, it had turned into a drawing of Ladybug?

At first, he'd thought that meant he had no chance with her. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized he _did_.

Ladybug wasn't dating Chat Noir. Marinette wasn't dating _anyone_.

* * *

On February 14, Marinette opened her locker only to have a flood of heart-shaped cards half bury her.

Nathaniel watched from around the corner as Marinette picked one up, a huge red heart trimmed with white lace.

"To the girl with raven hair and bluebell eyne,

"The girl whose smile taught the sun to shine.

"For the girl with the heart of purest gold

"Her glance keeps me warm in bitterest cold.

"Lady Luck is not so lucky as I

"To have you in my life today.

"Will you be my Valentine?"

"What the heck does 'eyne' mean?" Alya demanded.

Nathaniel facepalmed.

"It's from Shakespeare," Marinette said. "It means eyes."

"Why didn't he _say_ eyes, then?"

_To rhyme_, Nathaniel thought.

"To rhyme." Marinette rolled her eyes. "Obviously."

Nathaniel fell a little bit more in love.

Marinette picked up another one, a ladybug-shaped one, note written in white ink.

"First day

"You smiled

"Waved

"Caught my heart

"Yours forever"

Alya snatched the card. "Who sent this?" She turned it over. "It's not signed…"

Nathaniel had been too scared to sign his cards. Not even one. Out of...how many had he made for her? Twenty? Fifty? He couldn't even remember.

Marinette squealed. "Maybe it was _Adrien_!" She snatched another one. This one was the one with the Ladybug cutout on a spring inside. The one where Nathaniel had written it...to Ladybug.

Oops. He'd meant to give her that when they were alone. How had it gotten mixed in with the others?

Nathaniel's worries washed away as she began reading his words -_his words_\- in her beautiful voice.

"Lady Luck,

"I've loved you for a long time now. I only realized it on the first day of school, but I think I loved you before that.

"I know you don't love me back. You're infatuated with someone else instead. I hate that. I wish you loved me.

"But you're your own person. You make your own decisions, and I can't control you.

"I hope he makes you happy. But if things don't work out, I'll always be here for you.

"I love you. You are my life, my heart, my inspiration, my muse. You are my everything.

"You are nothing short of perfection. Find someone who knows that and never stops telling you.

"Be happy, mon coeur."

By the time Marinette finished, she had tears running down her cheeks. Nathaniel wasn't sure whether to feel guilty that he'd made her cry or happy that she was so touched by what he wrote.

"Wow." Alya put a hand on Marinette's shoulder. "Girl, _someone_ adores you. You want my advice? Forget Adrien, find this guy."

Marinette nodded, sniffling through her tears. She couldn't even talk.

* * *

"Excuse me, did you write this?" Marinette asked Adrien. _Could_ it have been him? She was pretty sure she'd have noticed if _Adrien Agreste_ had a crush on her.

Adrien shook his head. "No. But I hope you find who did!"

Marinette sat back down next to Alya as class started. Who else could it be? She hadn't known Luka on the first day of school. Kim wasn't so eloquent. It didn't sound anything like Max. Nino had Alya, and Ivan had Myléne. Nathaniel would've included a sketch. It could've been Marc, he was a writer so he'd be good with words.

Marinette nodded to herself. As soon as class was over, she'd confront Marc about it.

* * *

"That's not my handwriting," Marc said. "I didn't send you that note."

"R-really?"

Marc leaned closer. "Marinette, _I do not have a crush on you_. I'm attracted to boys."

"Oh."

Marc must have sensed her disappointment, because he said, in a conspiratorial tone, "_Tomato_."

"Tomato?" Marinette asked.

Marc nodded.

Tomato, tomato, tomato. Tomato?

Hah! Nathaniel was Marc's partner in their book! He might know what _tomato_ meant!

* * *

"Nathaniel?"

Nathaniel blushed. "Y-yes Marinette?"

"Do you know what _tomato_ means?" Marinette waved the letter. "I got this unsigned letter and went to Marc about it, and he said _tomato_. Since you're working on a comic book together, I thought you might know what it meant."

Nathaniel took a deep breath. He could do this. He could do it. He could-

_Oh for Pete's sake stop procrastinating and get on with it!_

"M-m-m-m-" He couldn't do it. He couldn't confess.

Marinette looked concerned. "Nathaniel, are you okay?"

He grabbed at the note, pulling a pen from behind his ear, signed his name at the bottom of the note, and handed it back to her.

He watched her face carefully as she scanned the note, comparing his signature to the handwriting. Finally, after what was either eight very long seconds or a shortish eternity, she looked back up.

"Nath- I don't know what to say-"

"I-I know you don't feel the same." What was even coming out of his mouth? His tongue wasn't listening to his brain. "I-I'm sor-"

Marinette leaned up and kissed him.

Just a brief peck, but _oh God she kissed him on the lips and she liked him back and oh God what was happening why did everything stop and when did the room start spinning and what is happening and_

He hugged her back. He was pretty sure that if he tried kissing her now his brain would explode.

* * *

**And there. She writes a kiss. Hey...that was the first kiss scene I've written, did you know? No kidding. Let me know how I did with those two bundles of awkward nerves?**

**SORRY FOR ANY CAVITIES!**

**Next chapter up within a week!**


	3. Marinoir

**All credit for the song I had stuck in my head while writing this goes to Avril Lavigne (credit for it being stuck in my head goes to my sister). Ship requested by FantasyGirl1001.**

**Also, I prefer "Marinoir" or "Chatonette" over "Marichat". Don't know if anyone else says that, but that's what I call it.**

* * *

CHAPTER THREE: MARINOIR

* * *

_He was a boy_

Chat Noir was always alone. As Adrien, he lived in a loveless home, going to a school where he always had to be Perfect Model Boy, never himself. As Chat, his Lady, the only person who could understand him, rejected him repeatedly.

_She was a girl_

Ladybug had friends. Marinette had friends. Beautiful, popular, free Marinette. Of course the embodiment of Creation would be the polar opposite of Destruction.

_Can I make it any more obvious?_

But opposites attract. Everyone knows that. "Birds of a feather flock together" is for friends. Platonic relationships. "Opposites attract" is for romance.

_He was a punk_

Ladybug hated his puns.

_She did ballet_

She hadn't even appreciated it when he called her _greats_-ful.

_What more can I say?_

Granted, it had been a pretty bad pun.

_He wanted her_

He'd never tried to hide his feelings for Ladybug.

_She'd never tell_

She always rejected him, but she'd never told him exactly how she felt about him. Only that she was in love with another boy.

* * *

_Secretly she wanted him as well_

Marinette liked Adrien. That was a fact of the world. Everyone knew that. So she kept her feelings for Chat hidden, even from herself.

_All of her friends turned up their nose_

Besides, her girlfriends were more obsessed with getting her and Adrien together than she was, now.

_They had a problem with his baggy clothes_

They'd hate to have wasted all that effort.

_He was a skater boy_

It wasn't like Marinette liked Chat. Not really. He just visited her sometimes, that was all. She couldn't like Chat.

_She said "see you later boy"_

The next time he visited, her window was closed.

_He wasn't good enough for her_

Marinette refused to see Chat unless she was in costume.

_She had a pretty face_

She tried dating Luka, then Nathaniel, Marc, even Max, and Kim.

_But her head was up in space_

But each time she kissed her boyfriend, she saw black ears and green eyes.

_She needed to come back down to earth_

On the eve of her twentieth birthday, Marinette, living in her own apartment in Paris, opened her window and made a wish.

* * *

_five years later_

* * *

_He's just a boy_

Marinette leans in towards the mirror, checking to make sure she doesn't have any lipstick on her teeth.

_And I'm just a girl_

There will be no akuma tonight. No Ladybug.

_Can I make it any more obvious?_

She closes her eyes, letting Tikki comb her hair out.

* * *

_We are in love_

Adrien looks at the two rings in his hands, whispering his transformation phrase.

_Haven't you heard_

Chat Noir bounds silently across rooftops, a shadow in the night.

_How we rock each other's world?_

He lands on his fingertips and toes as gracefully as any cat, then straightens up to tap gently on the door.

* * *

_I'm with the skater boy_

Marinette opens the door.

_I said "see you later boy"_

She sees the boy she once rejected for himself.

_"I'll meet you backstage after the show"_

The man she didn't know she loved for six years.

_"I'll be at the studio"_

Her kitten, all grown up.

_"Singing the song we wrote"_

Chat Noir.

_"About a girl you used to know"_

"I do."

* * *

**Only 67****0 words. Wow. I swear it looked longer on Google Docs.**

**(Hopefully) last note: if you suggest a pairing and don't specify platonic/romantic, I choose. If you have any plot suggestions, include that with your pairing suggestion(s). Thanks!**

**Next chapter up within a week or 10 reviews. More reviews = chapter sooner.**


	4. Alikim

**OK, so the ship name for this one is super weird. I know. Which reminds me. I'm going to think up ship names for every romantic couple on this, no matter how weird they get (goes for names and couples). If you see a slash in a chapter title, it means that chapter's pairing is platonic, not romantic. **

**Ship suggested by fallsky279.**

**That is all. Story now.**

* * *

CHAPTER FOUR: ALIKIM

* * *

"As if," Alix scoffed. "Like _anyone_ could fall in love with Kim. Besides, I figured out ages ago that I'm ace."

Marinette decided not to mention that her cousin was asexual and happily married, that asexual people sometimes were _romantically_ attracted to people.

Marinette wouldn't let Alya say anything when Alix accepted Kim's next dare, to get a selfie with an akuma. (Alya helped with that one.)

Kim, for his part, maintained that he thought of Alix as the world's most annoying sister. He said this many times, usually very loudly. Funnily enough, he mostly said it around Alix.

Alix stuck her tongue out at Kim.

Kim dared Alix to say King Monkey was the best superhero. And not just say it, but raise her hand and say it in the middle of class.

"Yes, Alix?"

"King Monkey is the best superhero!"

"Excuse me?"

Alix lifted her chin. "I said King Monkey is the best superhero."

Ms Bustier frowned in confusion. "Thank you Alix. Now, back to the lesson…"

Alix sighed, resting her chin in her hand. Stupid Kim with his stupid dares. Next time, she wouldn't take the dare. She'd just tell him to eff off.

* * *

Kim puffed out his chest. "I dare you to race me. On foot."

Alix narrowed her eyes. "You're on."

_Why did I do that?_

Kim grinned.

"I dare you to tell Chloé you like her again," Alix shot at Kim.

He accepted, of course. And of course, Chloé rejected him- although more nicely than the first time.

* * *

"I dare you to give up your roller skates for one week."

"I dare you to take a selfie with King Monkey."

"I dare you to climb that tree all the way to the top."

"I dare you to babysit Alya's little sisters."

"I dare you to babysit Nino's brother."

"I dare you to-"

"I can't take it any longer."

Both Alix and Kim stared in shock at the tiny monkey...bobblehead...thing poking out of Kim's hoodie.

Kim yelped and batted the thing away. "What is that thing? It's creepy! Agh!"

The monkey thing ignored him, turning to Alix. "Hi. I'm Xuppu. Stop daring my Chosen to do things, it's getting really annoying."

Alix blinked. "Uh-huh. Because Kim being King Monkey makes so much sense."

Kim stopped backpedaling. "Uh...you _know_?"

Alix rolled her eyes. "Monkey see monkey do. Kim see Kim do. Guess it does make sense."

Kim shrugged. Xuppu nestled back into his hoodie. "While we're on the subject, I have a dare for both of you."

Alix leveled her gaze at the kwami. Kim tried to turn around and look, apparently forgetting that Xuppu was in his hoodie.

"I dare you to go on a date."

Kim stopped trying to see Xuppu and started turning very red.

"A real date," Xuppu continued remorselessly. "Where you go out for a romantic candlelight dinner, hold hands, call each other nicknames, and kiss. Or it doesn't count."

Kim couldn't meet Alix's eyes. "Sorry about my kwami. He doesn't mean it."

"Oh, I mean it," Xuppu said. "I double- no, _triple dog dare_ you."

Kim's head snapped up. "How's Saturday work for you, Alix? Five o'clock?"

Alix shrugged. It wasn't as if she was _attracted_ to Kim or anything. He knew she was ace. "Sure."

* * *

Xuppu snickered to himself from the rafters. He'd gotten a camera from Plagg, who'd nicked it from his Chosen. Kim was _never_ going to forget this.

He clicked and got a picture of Kim, dressed up in a nice red shirt and black jeans, pulling out a chair for Alix, who wore dark green jeggings under a short black dress.

_Click_. A picture of the two looking like an ordinary couple ordering food.

_Click click click._ There was his proof that they were enjoying it. They were holding hands and smiling. Xuppu did a happy dance.

Ooo. This was his favorite part. Xuppu hefted the camera. It was harder to manage now that he was flying, but there is very little that can stop a determined kwami.

He clicked at exactly the right moment.

* * *

Even after they were officially together, married, with kids- heck, even after they had _grand_kids- Xuppu was surprised at exactly how much the two blushed when he showed them the picture of them actually enjoying their first kiss.

It never got old.

* * *

**As you may be able to tell, I imagine Xuppu as a very mischievous kwami. Don't know why. It just seems right.**

**Next chapter out within a week. As always, reviews make the next chapter come sooner. Thanks to The Keeper of Worlds for reviewing every chapter so far!**


	5. Chlorose

**I would just like to say that if anything in this story does not ring true, especially the parts about sexuality, I sincerely apologize. I'm not gay, and, growing up in a Catholic community that believes homosexuality is wrong (for the record, I don't believe it's wrong, it's just not what I prefer to read/write), I don't know many gay people, and the ones I do know aren't my age or my friends. I don't read/write a lot of gay fiction- actually, this is the first I'm writing. So if anything in here is incorrect, misleading, or hurtful, let me know immediately so I can fix it. Also let me know if you'd beta the revisions. Thanks!**

**Also if anyone is OOC, tell me that. Thanks!**

**Also, this ship was suggested by The Keeper of Worlds. Hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

CHLOROSE

* * *

Rose had always known she was gay. She'd never been attracted to boys (except Prince Ali, but that was a creepy celebrity crush that had gotten her akumatized and so didn't count), only girls, but the first girl she was attracted to was her (straight) best friend Juleka.

Rose loved impossible things and crazy romances. But being attracted to Chloé Bourgeois was _too_ crazy.

Chloé was the school bully. The girl who'd endlessly made fun of Rose when she'd come out. The girl who teased Rose's best friend. The girl who hurt _all_ Rose's friends. The girl who was super-possessive of Adrien.

How did Rose have the bad luck to fall for _two_ straight girls? First her best friend, then the bully?

Rose sighed dolefully.

Juleka touched her hand. "Hey, Rosie. What's wrong?"

Rose knew she could tell Juleka anything. Juleka didn't talk to many people, and she was _really_ good at keeping secrets. She'd never told anyone about Rose's sexuality until Rose was ready to come out, and she'd _never_ breathed a word of Rose's first crush.

So Rose leaned in and whispered in Juleka's ear, "I have a crush on Chloé."

The eye not covered by bangs widened. "What? But, Rose…"

"I know she's mean, and straight, and in love with Adrien," Rose whispered. "But I...no one can control who they like."

Juleka glanced across the courtyard at her boyfriend, Nathaniel. "I know."

Nathaniel saw her looking and gave the two girls a shy wave, face turning as red as his hair. He _still_ did that.

Rose looked up at her friend. "Can you help? I mean, I know it's possible to get over crushes, even if Marinette hasn't."

The two girls blushed, remembering Rose's first crush.

"Y-yeah, I don't really know," said Juleka. "My first crush was Nath, and…"

Rose looked down. "I know." She wasn't really surprised. But it had been worth a shot.

* * *

"Gay freaks," Chloé whispered to Sabrina, side-eyeing Rose and Juleka. Rose glared at her ponytail. _She_ didn't mind being called gay (she was, after all) or a freak (in this world, unicorns and mermaids and Tinker Bell would be freaks too, and unicorns were THE BEST). Also, she was endlessly optimistic. But she knew it hurt Juleka, like it would hurt Rose if she was called "straight" or "normal" (normal people were BORING). So Rose glared daggers at her crush.

And those daggers, very much against Rose's will, morphed into Marinette-style heart eyes. Blah. Darn Chloé. Why did Rose's heart have to pick the _worst_ people to crush on? Why couldn't it have picked, oh, Alix, or- or Sabrina or _Mireille_ or someone!? (There weren't that many gay girls in class. Really only Rose and maybe Sabrina, but Alix, Marinette, Alya, and Myléne would at least have been nice about it.)

Rose pouted. At least she had band practice after school. Just being around Kitty Section made everything bad go away.

* * *

Rose inhaled slowly, and exhaled, fist clenching and unclenching on the song she'd been memorizing. _Breathe_.

So practice was canceled due to Juleka's mom getting akumatized again. Not that big a deal. Ladybug and Chat Noir would be done taking care of it any minute, but it was getting too dark to practice outside and inside was just _bleh_ for practicing and…

_Breathe, Rose. Breathe._

And no one else was too bothered, because they all had other things to do. Luka was working on songs with his boyfriend Marc. Juleka was on a date with Nathaniel. Marinette was working on Kitty Section's costumes, or maybe one of her commission pieces. Adrien was at home, probably practicing piano.

Rose was alone.

She never saw the butterfly.

_Lonelette. I am Hawk Moth. Alone? Unloved? Rejected by your crush? I am giving you the power to make others feel as you do, sing to_ your _tune- particularly your crush who refuses to accept you._

Rose felt her lips curve into a smile, and it was as if she was watching from outside when she said, "Of course, Hawk Moth. Chloé _will_ know how I feel!"

Becoming Lonelette, her skin becoming dark blue with rose-red lips, her dress turning the same red and flowing out into a really cute princess dress, felt much the same as becoming Princess Fragrance.

Rose disappeared.

* * *

Rose looked up. "L-Ladybug? Chat Noir? W-where am I?"

Ladybug knelt by her. "Hey, Rose. You were akumatized. Is everything ok?"

Rose nodded, wiping her nose. "Y-yeah. What did I do?"

Pink dusted Ladybug's cheeks as she exchanged a look with Chat. "Um…" Her earrings beeped, saving her from answering. "Well, will you look at the time! I'm sorry, Rose, I have to go. But…" She helped Rose to her feet. "There's someone here who wants to talk to you."

"R-really?" Before Rose could ask who, Ladybug was gone.

Chat Noir smiled and nodded. "Over there. Might want to hear her out." His ring beeped. "Oops. Gotta go. She'll get you home, kay?"

Rose looked in the direction the hero had pointed.

There, looking very small, stood Queen Bee, comb beeping.

"D-did you mean it?" Queen Bee's voice was muffled, and she spoke to the ground instead of Rose. "What you said?"

"I don't remember what I said." Rose giggled. Why was everything Chloé did so darn funny?

Queen Bee looked up through her lashes. The two girls stared at each other until Queen Bee's comb beeped again.

Queen Bee took two quick steps toward Rose. "You-you said you…" Her cheeks were starting to match Rose's dress. "S-said…. But I was so mean…"

Rose looked up at the taller girl, utterly perplexed.

Queen Bee's hand cupped Rose's chin. "C-can I k-k-k-"

Rose leaned up before Queen Bee could finish her sentence.

* * *

_a month later_

* * *

It was surprising what Chloé could do when she put her mind to it, Rose reflected. Months of trying to get Marinette and Adrien together, and Chloé had done it in two days. After all, she had no reason to want Adrien any more, being perfectly happy with her girlfriend. And, as Chloé put it, "Better he's with Dupain-Cheng than _Lila_."

Juleka tapped a fork against her glass.

The group giggled. They were just at Marinette's house, not a fancy restaurant! But Juleka was not deterred.

"A toast to Kitty Section's upcoming concert with Jagged…" She paused. "...to my best friend and her girlfriend's one-month anniversary…" Another pause. "...and to the one-month anniversary of Chloé coming out!"

The table burst into applause.

"Strawberry, blueberry, chocolate, passionfruit, or banana?" Marinette asked, holding out a platter of macarons.

Rose and Chloé exchanged a look. Chloé took a strawberry. Rose chose banana. They each bit half off…

...and became aware of a quiet, steadily growing chant: "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

How could they not oblige?

Strawberry and banana went very well together, after all.

* * *

**So, um...that was my first try at writing a gay ship! Did it totally suck, or is it ok? Help! I need feedback!**

***crosses fingers and posts***


	6. Adrileka

**So, uh… people whose OTPs are love square or Nathleka/Roseleka, please don't flame the ship. I, uh, blame The Keeper of Worlds. They suggested it.**

* * *

ADRILEKA

* * *

Juleka and Rose were best friends. They had been their entire lives, literally. Their mothers had been best friends before they were born. Some people in their class thought they were dating, and sometimes the girls even pretended like they were, but both of them knew it was just a game. Neither of them had romantic feelings for the other; their relationship was far beyond that.

So when Rose fell for Prince Ali, Juleka decided she'd help her friend get the boy. Anything to make Rosie happy.

Juleka didn't like boys, in general. Including Prince Ali, but if he made Rose happy (which he did, they'd been dating for almost a year now and Rose was ecstatic), he was OK with Juleka.

The only boys Juleka could stand were her brother and her classmates, and even then not all the time. She retreated behind her hair a lot.

And then Juleka met Marinette.

Marinette was Juleka's polar opposite, as much as Rosie was. Marinette was cheerful, liked boys (a LOT), and was crushing so bad on the new boy she couldn't even get out a sentence when she was around him. Poor girl.

* * *

_Meeting at Marinette's_, Alya texted.

Juleka shook her head. Poor girl. She'd run herself to death for Adrien. It wasn't like he was _that_ special.

Sure, he was hot. (Juleka knew this because he was a model on a lot of billboards, and almost every straight girl and gay boy [if they weren't dating anyone, and sometimes if they were] swooned over him, mobbed him in the train station, and would probably kill his girlfriend/boyfriend if he ever started dating.)

And he was kind. (He never said a bad word to or about anyone, not that Juleka knew of. Not even Chloé!)

He was also totally oblivious. Literally every person at school, probably including once-King Oblivious (aka Principal Damocles) knew that Marinette had the world's hugest crush on the model. Except Adrien (who was the new King Oblivious). Marinette was Queen Oblivious, since she still hadn't figured out that everyone knew about her crush. That crush that made her stutter, trip over air, and turn into a puddle around Adrien. That completely unnoticeable one.

* * *

Operation...Secret Garden? Alya was officially insane.

Juleka wasn't sure she wanted to help. Helping Rose ask out Ali, who already like-liked her anyway, was one thing. Playing ninja and stalking Adrien was very different.

But Juleka didn't want to say no to Marinette, who'd helped her with her class photo curse, and done half a jillion things for Juleka and the whole class with nothing in return.

So Juleka sat in Marinette's room with Rose, Alix, and Myléne, listening to Alya and Marinette detail their plan.

It would never work. Juleka could already see that. Adrien wouldn't want to go on a date that seemed like it had been set up by a crazed fan. (Which, really, it had been. The only difference was that most of Adrien's crazed fans weren't in his class.)

And then of course Alya and Marinette had to give everyone code names. And Juleka was Rose.

(Oh no. That certainly wouldn't end badly. Not with Rose's short-term memory problem.)

* * *

Juleka sighed. All that work yesterday, and all that happened was Marinette managed a sentence. One. Sentence. And she _still_ hadn't quit gushing about it.

"Hey, Juleka."

She looked up. "Oh. H-hi, Adrien."

"Umm…" For the first time she could remember, Adrien looked awkward (you know, not counting the times he was actually in awkward situations due to fan-mobbing). "Did you see that akuma yesterday? I wonder what possessed Hawk Moth to akumatize a baby?"

Juleka nodded, chuckling. "Crazy, right?"

Adrien reached out a hand to her. "Want to walk to class together?"

Something fluttered in Juleka's stomach. "O-okay. Sure." She let Adrien help her up, even though she didn't need it. He seemed to want to help.

* * *

Juleka was a mystery. Adrien was used to fans mobbing him, to Chloé's clinginess, Marinette's stuttering, and his friends just talking to him like _friends_. But Juleka was different.

She was quieter than his other friends, for one. Not like she never had anything to say, but more like she just didn't say it. Adrien wasn't sure how those two kinds of quiet were different on the surface, how he could tell, but he just _knew_.

And none of his other friends made him feel like this. Sure, he was happy just to be around Nino and Kim and all his friends, but not the kind of happy that made him feel like grinning all the time and maybe also giggling.

Not even Ladybug made him feel like this. Well, he loved her, but….

Well, that meant he couldn't have a crush on Juleka since he didn't feel the same around her as around Ladybug and anyway he already had a crush on Ladybug and….

"Admit it, you like her," Plagg whispered.

"I-no-Plagg!"

* * *

Juleka's phone buzzed in the middle of class. She steadfastly ignored it, curiosity growing, until after class.

_Hi Juleka. Would you like to catch a movie sometime? If so, when works for you? -Adrien_

She worked hard to keep from grinning as she sent, _Saturday night maybe? Is that OK? -Juleka_

* * *

"PLAGG!"

"Well, you know you like her. You're welcome."

* * *

Plagg smirked. If his Chosen wouldn't stop gooshing over Ladybug, he_'_d _make_ him stop. At least there were fewer pictures of this girl on the Internet than of Ladybug.

Adrien better enjoy that date, because Plagg had worked hard on making that text sound like Adrien, and Plagg _would_ be rewarded with extra Camembert. Which wouldn't happen if Adrien was upset, so Adrien had _better_ enjoy his date.

On Saturday night, Plagg got plenty of Camembert.

* * *

**Yeah, yeah, Plagg. You know you care about Adrien. You can stop pretending it's all about the cheese; the whole fandom knows the truth.**

**Next chapter up within a week.**


	7. Alirose

**It's been awhile since I saw **_**Princess Fragrance**_**, and I'm pretty sure this completely disregards the ending. Sorry.**

**Ship suggested by guest "The Watcher".**

* * *

ALIROSE

* * *

Paris was _so totally awesome_.

First a random blonde girl ran up and gave Ali this super weird bobblehead doll thing. Then a pink-haired supervillain lady came after him and he got saved by _superheroes_!

One day, and Ali knew he would never want to leave Paris...if it weren't for the fact that he really loved his parents, who would refuse to leave Achu.

Ali sighed dreamily as the ladybug girl swung away, leaving him in the park. Aaah. Beautiful, beautiful Paris-

wait. Was that someone _crying_? Ali didn't understand. How could anyone _cry_ in the best city in the world? How could anyone be unhappy if they were in Paris, where there were superheroes and supervillains and super-awesome adventures?

Well. He guessed maybe the supervillains were unhappy. But they were bad guys! It was OK for them to be unhappy. Everyone else couldn't fail to be happy here.

...right?

Ali looked around for the source of the crying. "Hello? Sad person?" It was getting louder near the bench, so Ali climbed on it and looked behind.

The pretty blonde girl looked up. "Oh! Your Highness! I'm sorry if I bothered you!" She scrambled up and began to back away, bowing.

Ali scrambled over the bench and grabbed her hand. "No, no. I am sorry. I am the one who bothered you. And please, my name is Ali."

The girl offered him a smile. "R-Rose."

Ali grinned at her. "Hi, Rose. Could you show me around Paris? I want to get ice cream, and see superheroes, and ride a carousel, and climb your Eiffel Tower, and eat sweets all day!"

Rose giggled, tears forgotten. That gave Ali a rather warm, fuzzy feeling in his stomach. "I can help with all of those! Let's go to Andre's."

As they walked, hand in hand, Rose started telling Ali about Andre. "Andre is magic. His ice cream reflects your soulmate." She sighed. So did Ali. He liked the idea of soulmates and true love (especially since he'd probably end up in an arranged marriage), and he liked this girl.

Rose told him about her friends' Andre's flavors, too. "Marinette gets mint and peach, Nath gets lemon cotton candy-"

Ali made a face. He'd tried plain lemon juice once, and he wasn't sure it would go at all well with cotton candy.

Rose was oblivious. "-Luka, he's in Kitty Section like my best friend Juleka, he gets dragonfruit and chocolate, Juleka gets raspberry coffee, Adrien gets strawberry chocolate chip, Chloe gets _really_ red raspberry…"

Ali scrunched his face up. _None_ of these flavor combinations sounded good. This Andre must be crazy.

Rose pointed. "Hey, look, we're almost there!" She tugged him excitedly onto the bridge.

Ali thought of his schedule, and his strict diet. No one would be happy if he did this…

He raced towards the ice cream stand, pulling Rose behind him. If the ice cream was horrible, at least he'd have fun being with his new friend! (Rose was the best thing about Paris so far.)

"Two please!" he told the ice-cream man.

"Hi Andre!" said Rose. "This is-"

"Ali," Ali said, before Rose could add _Prince_. She smiled at him.

"Ah," Andre said. "I think I have just the thing." He scooped ice cream into two cones. Handing one to Ali and one to Rose, he said, "For you, strawberry for her smile, banana for her hair. For you, toffee for his skin and chocolate for his stare."

Rose turned to stare intently at Ali. He looked at her, confused, then down at the ice cream in his hand.

Oh. Huh. Ice cream...Rose. Ice cream...Rose. Wait…

The banana ice cream...He held it up, squinting as he compared. It was the _exact_ shade of her hair. And the strawberry looked like her lipstick.

Ali took a tentative lick. The combination tasted the way Rose made him feel.

"I think your Andre is for real," he breathed, conscious of Andre making an excited squealy noise behind them.

Rose smiled innocently at him. "Of course he is! He's _Andre_."

Ali was not sure how that followed.

Then Rose leaned up to kiss his cheek, and he decided it didn't matter.

He kissed her back, in a slightly different place.

* * *

Seven years later, to the day, Juleka adjusted the rose in her best friend's hair as Rose looked anxiously in the mirror.

"Are you _sure_ I look okay?" she asked.

Juleka laughed softly. "Marinette designed your dress. You look wonderful."

Rose inhaled resolutely, and, holding her bouquet of red, pink, and white roses like a shield, marched out into the church.

Juleka and Marinette smiled at each other. Their smiles fell when Rose squealed, "I can't _dooo_ it!" and darted back.

* * *

The people of Achu stared as their soon-to-be princess was frog-marched up the aisle by two very determined dark-haired young women.

Even the priest sounded unsure as he began the ceremony.

But the king and queen of Achu clapped loudest of all when the prince swept his bride into a deep, passionate (perhaps not entirely child-appropriate) kiss.

* * *

Ten years later, Princess Violet of Achu begged her parents for the story of their first meeting.

Five years after that, she visited Paris and found Andre's grandson.

Eleven short years after that, Rose and Ali became grandparents….on the anniversary of their first meeting.

* * *

**Any comments or constructive criticism welcome. Can anyone guess who's with who from their Andre's flavors?**

**Next chapter should be up within a week.**


	8. Ladynette

**I do not do same-character ships. That being said, this suggestion kept nagging at me, and then...boom. Canon-compliant inspiration.**

**Ship suggested by Evolved Ignis. Which, thank you for that, Evolved Ignis, because this ended up** _**hilarious**_**. **

**Disclaimer: This is not meant to be taken seriously. A crazy idea popped into my head, and it did not care to be taken seriously. I don't even have the excuse of being tired! But this is totally crack, which I never thought I'd write. I can't even take myself seriously anymore.**

* * *

LADYNETTE

* * *

She knew it was a mistake the instant the words left her mouth. Unfortunately, by then it was too late.

Alya snapped her fingers. "So that's it. That's why you were always jealous. Not because of Adrien, but because you thought she might replace you."

Marinette squeezed her eyes shut. No. Nonono. This _was not happening_.

Adrien looked _crushed_. Poor boy. She'd have to visit him as Ladybug and explain things. Soon.

Lila's lip wobbled. "I never knew," she whispered. "Marinette, why didn't you _tell_ me? Why did you hate me, just for being her best friend? A girl doesn't have to have the same person as her best friend and her girlfriend."

Marinette inhaled, eyes still closed. In her mind, she heard Tikki's voice: _Play along, Marinette. Bring her down with her own lies._

Tikki's voice.

...maybe not Tikki's words.

Marinette opened her eyes. "You wondered why I never liked Lila? It's because I always knew she was lying. Ladybug told me she hadn't even met Lila before Lila started claiming she was Ladybug's best friend. Fang was Jagged Stone's first pet. Ladybug told me that she has a sense for liars, and that Lila was _lying_. Lila couldn't be her best friend, because _I_ was."

"Jealous much?" Lila shot back.

"She's telling the truth," a voice said from the roof.

Everyone turned to see Ladybug on the roof.

"Marinette and I have been dating since before Lila first came to Paris," Ladybug said. "I tried telling her it wouldn't do much good to call Lila out without support, but she didn't want to see me hurt." Ladybug leapt down and started walking toward a very confused Marinette.

Before Marinette had entirely worked through _what the heck was happening_, Ladybug was kissing her on the lips.

Needless to say, Lila lost a lot of street cred that day, especially after claiming she was Rena Rouge and secret best friends with Queen Bee. Chloé _really_ hadn't appreciated that one.

* * *

In her room, Marinette looked wide-eyed at Tikki. "I had the earrings on the whole time! Was it a Ladybug cosplayer? But she sounded just like me!"

Tikki looked up at her, eyes twinkling. "You remember the Fox Miraculous?"

Marinette gestured wildly. "Yes, but the illusions disappear when they're touched! And this 'Ladybug' didn't!"

"It's funny how powers work differently when we kwamis use them than when our Chosens do," Tikki mused. "Oh, by the way, Marinette, could you help me with something? I owe Trixx one dozen oatmeal raisin cookies."

Marinette's brow furrowed, then she burst out laughing.

* * *

**So, Evolved Ignis, did that live up to your hopes? I hope you enjoyed it even if it wasn't quite what you pictured!**

**Violetsz asked for a list of what I ship in the fandom. Well, since the entire point of this oneshot series is to force me out of my comfort zone, I'd like requests as crazy and nonsensical as you'd like. For romantic, aged up/down is fine, so long as they're no more than 10 years apart in canon. i.e., Chris/Ella, sure. Gabriel/Nathaniel [which is what some very startled part of my brain thought the first time I saw "GabeNath"], not ok. will not be doing any incest ships or pedophila (which I'd think would be a given, but people can be crazy, and I don't know how many of those crazy people will read this). Also no polyamorous ships (maybe later; I read this really cute Adrigaminette one once). And, uh, as a general rule no same-character shipping- this one is the exception, and only because I remembered this fic where the reveal happened because Marinette thought Adrien was dating Chat Noir (and decided to reveal herself by, as Ladybug, saying she was dating Marinette). ****For platonic, anything goes. If you want kwami/holder bonding, sibling time, Gabriel appreciating Marinette's talent, all of that's great.**

**I'd also love it if you want to suggest plot points/quotes/prompts you want me to work in. Say, "anything about bananas", "something with Sass", "Alya loses the fox miraculous". All of those, whee! I can't wait to see what y'all come up with!**

**Whoo. OK. Hope that cleared any questions up. Thanks for reading!**

**Next update hopefully within a week, but HOMEWORK over Thanksgiving break, and I'm hoping to make it to 2k words next chapter, so maybe 2 weeks. Happy Thanksgiving!**


	9. Marose

**First, I'm SO sorry this took so long! The chapters I have to read and write essays on for history class keep getting longer, and, if possible, more boring. Also, I was trying to write a platonic ship and...it's gonna be fairly long. Longer than the norm, I can tell. I finally abandoned it FOR NOW to write this, which is shorter and therefore out sooner. **

**Anyway, if you checked my profile you already knew about the Homework Hiatus. But now it's Christmas break, which means no homework! I *thought* it would also mean lots of reading/writing fanfiction, and working on my novel. Instead, it means lots of coughing, gallons of peppermint tea, and lots of sleep. I thought being sick would mean being in bed and on my phone, meaning lots of writing and updates, but then my body threw in some vertigo. That made it a little harder to write. But I *coughing fit* ...I emerge victorious. Ish.**

**...I got this out, okay!?**

**Yes. The ship name here sucks. But I decided I would combine first names for the ship names for every fic in this series. Marose is better than, say, Rosemarc or Marcrose or Rarc or something. (Those make me think of rosemary, macramé, and that cute sound my cat makes, respectively.) Also, "Marose" sounds kind of like "my Rose", doesn't it?**

**Ship credit: retroGrape.**

* * *

MAROSE

* * *

Fluttery, airheaded, chatterbox Rose.

Quiet, steady, calm Marc.

They balanced each other out nicely.

Juleka and Nathaniel had seen the looks- and the ice cream.

The only ones who couldn't tell were Rose and Marc.

* * *

Juleka and Nathaniel tried gently pushing them together when Juleka asked Rose to come with her to pick Nathaniel up. From the studio where he was, completely by coincidence, working with Marc on their graphic novel.

(Juleka hadn't thought any couple could be more oblivious than Adrienette. Nathaniel said Marose were giving them a run for their money. Juleka gave her boyfriend a Strange Look. Nathaniel shrugged and said it sounded like "My Rose", which was wordplay Marc, being a writer, would enjoy. And anyways, it was better than Rarc. Juleka had to agree.)

(Then something occurred to Juleka, and she asked if ship names should be referred to as two people. Nathaniel pointed out that they _were_ two people. Juleka said it was only one name. Nathaniel threw up his hands and declared that he was an artist, not a writer. He shouldn't be expected to know all the grammar details. Juleka suspected that sentence wasn't grammatically correct either, but she kissed him anyway.)

(_That_ ended the conversation.)

* * *

"I don't _get_ it," Rose told Marc.

Marc did not answer. Rose was worried that meant he didn't like her. She didn't _like_ people not liking her.

Since Marc didn't ask _get what_, Rose continued her thought. "Why Jules and Nathaniel keep leaving us alone together. Juleka doesn't normally do things like that. I don't get it."

Marc rolled his eyes. He'd read this trick, or similar ones, in a thousand books. Clearly, Nath didn't know that, or he'd have tried something more subtle. This would never work. It only ever worked when the couple didn't know what their friends were doing.

(Which was all the time, because fictional people never read books.)

...Besides, even if Marc _didn't_ already know what Nath and his girlfriend were up to, he'd hoped Nath would have more faith in him than that! This was the…

Marc opened his notebook, scanning for his tally marks and adding another. It was the _twentieth_ time.

(Plus, Nath had illustrated a Ladynoir scene exactly like this -_that Marc had written_\- just last week.)

(...Nope, Marc was now positive that his friend thought he was an absolute dunce. Where did he _think_ Marc's inspiration there came from? 'Write what you know', and all that.)

"...Why aren't you talking to me?" came Rose's voice. "Are you deaf? Can you even hear me?"

...and now she was talking into his _ear_, oh god help him.

"I know your secret," Rose told Marinette when she came to unlock the classroom.

Marinette giggled nervously. "What secret? I don't have any secrets? What's a secret?"

"You like Marc, and you want me to ask him out for you!" Rose proclaimed triumphantly.

Marc froze.

Marinette laughed. "Oh, _that_, haha, no, not true, you know I love Adrien."

Marc grinned, the look of someone with blackmail material. Marinette noticed.

"M-Marc, what are you looking at me like that for…"

"Tell me what the hell is up with everybody in our class. Tell me why they have gone insane, or I will tell Adrien."

Marinette never stopped to think that maybe this would be a relatively painless way of telling Adrien about her crush. "JulekaandNathanielthinkyoutwoareperfectforeachotherandaretryingtosetyouupandropedtherestofusgirlsintoit!" she blurted.

Rose tapped her chin. "Huh. That explains it."

Marc stared, bewildered. "Really? That's _it_?" He began to laugh.

Marinette peeked at him. "You're not mad?"

Marc laughed. "I mean, I thought there was more, because that is just _so clichéd_ and I thought Nath was better than that, but no, I'm not mad. Not at you. Not about shutting me and Rose up together over and over. I'm mad at Nathaniel for thinking I'm _that_ stupid!"

"Well, it _didn't work_," Rose said.

"Mm-hm," said Marinette.

Rose's cheeks darkened. "It _didn't_!"

Marc sighed.

"Are you sure?" asked Marinette. "Juleka really wanted it to work…"

Marc glanced at Rose. "Hey, Rose, do you want to go on a date?"

Rose looked very confused, but nodded.

Marc looked back at Marinette. "There. Now you can tell Juleka it worked."

So she did, and everybody thought it was over.

Everybody except Marc and Rose.

* * *

The first question Marc asked Rose when they were eating was, "So. How do you think we should get back at them?"

Rose stared at him.

"For locking us in a room. I vote that we lock each couple in a room, in the most awkward way we can manage."

Rose began to grin.

* * *

"Rose!" Juleka cried. "Rose, let us out!"

Rose just watched as the dog (Burmese mountain dog) gave Juleka an enormous kiss. Nathaniel gagged.

* * *

"This is terrible," Alya groaned. "Someone else will get my scoop!"

"_And LB gave someone else our Miraculous because she couldn't find us_," Nino whispered.

(Neither Rose nor Marc heard that part, of course. They just knew that Rena Rouge and Carapace had been temporarily replaced by a pixie-cut-blonde fox named Vixen and a dark-haired turtle named Snapper.)

* * *

Marinette groaned, banging her head on the wall uselessly.

"This window's locked too," Adrien called.

"I _really_ need to go to the bathroom!" Marinette shot a sideways glance out the window, which had a perfect view of the blue-skinned man bellowing "Bring me your Miraculous!"

"You might not have a choice," Tikki whispered to Marinette.

"Don't you want Pigtails to know you're Chat Noir?" Plagg teased.

"No!" both holders hissed in unconscious unison.

* * *

They were different in many ways, but Marc and Rose shared a sense of humor, it seemed.

Similar senses of humor such as, say, a shared love of practical jokes, are not a solid foundation for a relationship. Not according to some.

Rose and Marc would tell you anything can be a solid foundation. Their proof? Their own relationship, which lasted a solid thirty years before Marc disappeared on a book tour and Rose tried to convince Ladybug to loan her the Dog Miraculous...but that's another story.

* * *

Yes, Rose and Marc balanced each other out very nicely.

Very nicely indeed, in-very-deed.

* * *

**How was it? Everyone in character?**


	10. Adrienette

**Hi there.**

**I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SO SO SORRY! **

**I didn't mean to go MIA. I just...schoolwork happened. Work-work happened. Life happened.**

**Not just 'argh' stuff, either. I've been majorly rewriting my novel because I'm going to a writers' conference soon, and I finally figured out what my beta meant by "writing a different story than the one I want to tell". Which...yeah. Lotta work. But! My novel is soooooo much better now! Or the rewritten chapters are, at least. I want to get as much rewritten as possible before I go to the conference.**

**Anyways, I basically wrote this whole thing last night and today, so I may rewrite it. **

**I know, I know. You're excited to review. But between you and the review button is some really awkward Adrienette fluff, so read it first, 'kay?**

**(Alya knows LB's identity; Nino doesn't. LB and Chat do not know each other's identities; Chat doesn't know anyone's but QB's; QB doesn't know anyone's.)**

* * *

ADRIENETTE

* * *

"Happy Valentine's Day, Adrien," Marinette said calmly, a slight blush rising to her cheeks. "I...uh...got you this." She looked away, holding out a heart-shaped box with a lovely hand-decorated card taped to it. "You see, I've had a crush on you ever since the first day of _école_, when you gave me your umbrella. It's only grown since then, and it's developed into real love, not just a schoolgirl crush. A-and I know you're with Ka-Kagami now," she gulped, "but I just wanted to tell you how I feel. I'm in love with you, Adrien Agreste."

Marinette looked back up through her lashes, cheeks flushed, heart pounding wildly.

Everything was silent.

Then Tikki burst out from behind the mirror. "Good job, Marinette! You finally confessed your feelings to Adrien!"

Marinette hung her head. "But I didn't, Tikki. He's not even here. He's probably at his house." She groaned and threw herself dramatically on her bed. "Twenty years old, still living at home with a schoolgirl crush I stutter to _think_ of! I can't believe myself."

Tikki grinned hugely, brandishing a small rectangular object. "Yes you did. Would you rather lip-synch it to his face, or should I just text it to him?"

Marinette yelped and grabbed for her phone. "Tikki! No! I'm never bringing you to movie night with Alya and Trixx _ever again_!"

"Lip-synch or text?" Tikki asked, flying higher.

"Lip-synch! Lip-synch!" Marinette shrieked in a panic.

"All right. But I'm texting this to Alya first." Tikki's tiny paws flew over the screen as she balanced the phone on her feet. "No cold feet, Marinette! Think about it."

A small eternity later, Tikki dropped the phone into Marinette's hand, and Marinette gave a piercing scream. "TIKKI!"

"What?" Tikki asked innocently.

"This isn't Alya's number! It's Adrien's!"

"A-D and A-L! They're right next to each other."

"Not in my text history!"

"Oops?" Tikki offered. She'd really been spending too much time with Plagg lately, she reflected. He was a bad influence...almost as bad as Alya and her movies.

Marinette screamed again when Adrien's response popped up:

_Adrien: Hey Marinette! Sorry I don't have time to watch your video right now. I'm in a Valentine's Day photo shoot which starts in 10. I'll watch it ASAP, promise! Happy Valentine's Day!_

"This isn't a problem," Marinette told herself. "Not a problem. Just steal his phone again! Or, no, I could get arrested. I'll go into hiding! Fake my own death and live as Ladybug. Adrien has a crush on Ladybug, right? I can marry him as Ladybug, live with Alya until the wedding, and we can still have three kids and a hamster! Unless I just become an old maid with Alya, that works too."

Tikki took Marinette's phone away and called Alya.

* * *

"So what are you saying again?" Alya asked, glancing at the clock. Adrien's photo shoot was scheduled to end in just five minutes. She had to keep Marinette talking.

"Adrien! Has a video! Of me confessing my love for him!" Marinette hyperventilated. "IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!"

Alya rolled her eyes. "Trixx, let's pounce. Mirage." Rena Rouge played a brief melody on her flute and created an illusion of Adrien.

"Marinette, I saw the video," Illusion-Adrien said, causing Marinette to bury her head in her pillow, face flaming. "Do...do you really feel that way about me?"

"_Meep_."

"I love you too, Marinette," the illusion continued. "I broke up with Kagami as soon as I saw your confession. Please, will you go on a date with me?"

"..._meeep…?_"

Rena stopped playing and looked at Marinette. "Girl, you're _twenty_. Get over it! You need to be able to talk to hot men."

"_Meep_."

"Trixx, let's rest. Mari?"

"_Meep_."

"I think you broke her," Trixx observed.

"An illusion Adrien might have been too much," added Tikki.

A knock at the door proved that Marinette was not completely broken, as she was out her trapdoor and behind a small potted tree that did nothing to conceal her in less than five seconds.

"It'sAdrien_hidemeeee_!" she whisper-squealed.

Alya groaned.

Trixx vanished through the door, then reappeared. "It's Not Adrien."

"Oh, phew." Marinette unfolded herself from behind the vase, then squawked, "ADRIEN?!"

"Hi?" Adrien said. "Um, I got your video-"

"AHH THAT WAS A PRANK ALYA MADE ME SAY IT HAHAHA ISN'T IT FUNNY?" Marinette let out a huge fake laugh.

"Don't listen to her," Alya called. "She's totally for real. Head over heels for you."

Adrien's cheeks were almost as red as Marinette's. He mumbled something that made Marinette practically burst into flames.

"What was that?" Alya called.

"I said I love you too, Marinette!" Adrien blurted. "Kagami and my relationship was always business- Father wanted me to have a girlfriend, for the brand image, and Kagami was the only girl except you, Alya, and Chloe I knew well enough. I always thought you never felt the same way about me!"

A half-coherent Marinette mumbled something unintelligible.

"I was just waiting for you to ask." Adrien tilted her face up and gave Marinette a passionate kiss while Alya looked on and two hidden kwamis looked away.

"Aw, gross!" the third hidden kwami complained loudly.

Marinette broke the kiss. "CHAT NOIR?!"

* * *

**Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! Do you have a significant other, or are you spending the most romance-oriented day of the year single, like me? Leave a review maybe?**

**Due to homework, life, and rewrites, I can't promise anything about the next chapter, or when I'll be back regularly. However, if you're looking for a good read, the stories on my favorites list almost all have great grammar (some stories I really like aren't on there, because if I like multiple stories by the same author I usually favorite the author instead of each individual story). Or my FictionPress stories, if you'd like to see the original stuff my brain comes up with. **

**Enjoy the love in your life, romantic or platonic. Both are absolutely wonderful, and you deserve love.**


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